ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
