Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i think my cat just said my name.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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