I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The power of my boobs compel you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize