She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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