My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
