i just wanna soil my oats bro
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How external is "for external use only"?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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