ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
