i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
