new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize