Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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