my being single is dangerous.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize