About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
