i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
