I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
