You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
