It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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