How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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