it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
