We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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