I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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