Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
