he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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