5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
