hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
