playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
