And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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