Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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