The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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