SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
worst night to have a conscience
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
