so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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