I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize