just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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