how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
