Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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