The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
