Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
