just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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