he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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