I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
