Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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