I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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