dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
