I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have post one night stand depression
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