We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize