what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
