Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
