I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
