At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
