I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
