Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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