i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
