just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
