Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
