walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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