Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
