How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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