And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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