Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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