covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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