Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
