The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
