She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
what day is it and did you see me today?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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